My first London exhibition artpiece (Title: Let Hope)

THEY & i

THEY

They stop in their paths and stare.

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They gasped and get amused by controversial matter.

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They whisper in low voices, thinking that they can't be heard.

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They point their fingers at you and giggle/chuckle/chortle/snigger/laugh.

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They make you feel uncomfortable.

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They make a mockery out of you.

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They asked themselves 'why' when they look at you.

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i

i didn't choose to stop them in their paths to stare.

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i didn't choose to amuse them.

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i didn't choose to hear what they whisper.

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i didn't choose to be pointed at.

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i didn't choose to be uncomfortable.

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i didn't choose to be mocked.

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i didn't choose to have cancer.

plaster flashback

I cut my thumb in class while trying to zip up one of my girl's bag. One sweet little angel in the class gave me a plaster. For some strange reasons, it brings flashback of this time when my mum bought me a box of pink dinosaurs plasters, hoping to ease my pain from the regular neupogen injections I had to do unto myself, to boost my white blood count.

My sexy bassist @ Very Brit, Zouk

I so adore these pictures taken of Sweetie. Whoever you are, good job and thank you.

I am charting my hair growth

I have taken a couple of pics of me since I embarked on my treatment. I didn't have the courage to post them on my blog cos I didn't want to scare anyone with the ugly reality of life. Most people would love to see nice pics on blogs, girls all dolled up, looking all so pretty. Probably insecurity got the better of me. It's crazy. I still do my normal activities, like going to the gym or playing at gigs, with little hair on my head. Yet, I'm afraid to post pictures of myself on the Web. Heheh.. Well.. to those out there and is suffering from cancer, I am charting my hair growth by taking pics of my hair every week. I am going to be part of the Hodgkin's support group. Hopefully, I will be of help to the people who needs someone to relate to, patients or caregivers. Like the phrase I kept hearing on TV, "life's not always a bed of roses but it can be a garden of joy".

Uploading pics from my Nikon: the birthdays

Pics from Hyatt's Straits Kitchen. The birthday celebration of two wonderful mothers.

17/17: No more radiotherapy

Stronger than I ever been now

Never been afraid of standing out

But do i make you proud

GSE @ BayBeats 2006, The Esplanade

Baybeats is finally here. GSE rocks the outdoor amplitheatre at The Esplanade, tonight from 8.30-9pm. Come dance with us. Come sing with us.

I am in the staffroom, busy at the laptop, doing up my report of the conferences I had attended, listening to songs randomly from the iTunes Library. Suddenly, Damien Rice's 'The Blower's Daughter' came on. Such nostlagia. I used to set this song as my Sweetie's personal ringtone. Each time he calls me, the melancholic voice of Damien Rice haunts my mobile. Then, if I may sum it up, we were together as one immeasurable entity in mad rush of chaos.

I stopped work, staring at my laptop, zoning out. This song sure brings back alot of memories. As I listened to the song, flashbacks in my mind, playing a time-lapse video of all the scenes and memories this song brings. It is just like the time-lapse video we see on TV or in the movies: the sky from sunrise to sunset. The song brings along a translation of pain into sounds. It has been a journey. It sure has been. I am glad that we made it. It has definitely made us stronger as one. Now one immeasurable entity, stronger than before.. About the mad rush of chaos... Well...We have gained so much strength and love to ignore the redundant chaos around us. We made it, Baby. I'm so glad we made it.

EXCEL Fest 2006 @Admiralty Primary

All teachers islandwide are involved in this MOE Excel Fest event. Mine is at Admiralty Primary School. Khai and my workshops end at about the same time. That's great. ;) Sitting with me at this workshop right now are 3 senior teachers from my school. The ones I like best in school. So I guess this workshop will be pretty fun. We are all hanging around, waiting for the workshop to commence. I wonder how's Sweetie doing at his side..... Oh!! The workshop has started. Gotta stop now.

Very Brit @ Zouk

We did our soundcheck, had our band meeting in the dressing room and then off we went, up on stage. When Khai and I arrived at Zouk, Electrico was still at their soundcheck and for the very first time, Amanda and I spoke. Strangely, my mum knows her family and yet we are like complete strangers. We covered Orson's 'No Tomorrow' for the event. A band meeting was called upon for the order of the songs to be played in our set, later on stage.

We chilled at the main area, with Bert, Mike and the rest of the guys. There was this lucky dip booth where one could win CDs and T-shirts. I so badly wanted the Snow Patrol's new album. So I decided to give it a shot. Bert had gone forward twice and not won a thing. So did Mike. I put my hand into the dip box and got myself a Keane's T-shirt and Khai got himself a Orson CD. Sigh... No Snow Patrol..

The crowd was great. It was our second time we were playing at Zouk. Khai and I were looking forward all week for this gig cos Khai missed the first time when we played at Zouk. I am just so happy we finally played at zouk TOGETHER GETHER.. Just found out that I screwed up at the start of 'Class A Love Affair' yesterday, during jamming, when Saiful pointed my mistake out to me. I wanted to find out what went wrong. Was it really just me? For someone who could formulate convincing reasons in support of my opinions in debates like evils of materialism or euthanasia or karma, when it comes to matters concerning the band or Khai, I am usually left dumbfounded, speechless. Instead I come across as agressive and defensive, two polar-apart entities co-existing together on my face. I was just alittle disappointed cos I really don't want to let the band down in any way at all. Khai sat me down and told me that such mistakes can only be avoided through many live gig experiences. I sorta got over my bad after his hugs and kisses. =) Thanks Sweetie..

Immediately after the set, we left in Mike's car, went to pick Leigh up and headed for khai's place to watch soccer..

Class 'A' Love Affair

Haven't caught GSE's live set yet. Here's a video clip of a live set we played at Prince of Wales, Dunlop Street, early this year. Fancy a piece of this action? Come catch us live then. Zouk tonight. Baybeats, 14th July.

Baby Royce

My cute little nephew is exactly 3 months old. Hes just so adorable in his quirky ways. Hes the sunshine of the family.

Radiotherapy Sessions (now 5/17)

The mornings of this entire week were spent at the Radiation Oncology centre at SGH. I just did my 5th radiotherapy sessions yesterday. As compared to my previous chemo sessions, radiation is so much easier to bear.

Last week, I went to the centre to do the markings on the skin of my body. The makings included two tattooed points. I had to go through an X-ray machine called a 'simulator', which is used to plan my radiotherapy treatment. The machine is built to simulate a radiotherapy machine. Precise measurements are then taken to determine the distance between the source of radiation and my body. This is extremely crucial because the distance will determine the dose of radiation. Ink markings are then made on my body so that the radiographers will be able to work on the same area for all my 17 sessions. The entire procedure took 45 minutes. The actual radiation treatment will take me 15 minutes.

The coming Monday will be my 6th session. Haven't had much side-effects from my previous 5 sessions, except for fatigue and dry throat. I hope it stays that way.