My worst panic attack

My Saturday started out great.. Spent the afternoon with Sweetie and Herman at Kaki Bukit.. Then we went for a swim at the pool. It was so crowded. We did our 10 laps in the pool and headed off cos it looked like it was going to rain. We had dinner and then decided to chill at home before heading out for jamming. I had one of my worst panic attacks today. I have had panic attacks, usually mild. Most of it were just having difficulty breathing, feeling nausea and sudden chills..

But the one I had today was one of its kind. It just hit me but I was fortunate to have him around with me at that point of time. His comforting hugs and voice kept me sane throughout the ordeal. I really felt I was going to die. It is what he called, "The Impending Doom". I felt a sharp pain in my chest and abdominal area. I was so scared to a point, I was almost hysterical. I had huge problems trying to breathe and I felt I was going to pass out. Like most of my panic attacks, it passed. This time, it took about 15 minutes before everything subsided.

I have had panic attacks since I was in my teens but was only officially diagnosed with panic disorders last year, prescribed with medications to keep it in control. To top that up, I am claustrophobic (fear of enclosed spaces). My heart starts racing and I start to break into chills when I am in a lift or crowded places. I have learned to handle my phobia well so far but sometimes, it will trigger my panic alarms. I try to stay close to doors in crowded areas and lifts. I am always in a constant search for escape routes. I try to build my very own personal space in a crowded area mentally...

Today, I am recovering from my shock.. The feeling of dying is so overwhelming..